Thought for the nights

Ah... feeling extremelyyyyyyyy lazy to go to class tomorrow. Zzz this slacking side of mine. Sigh~ Somehow, I need to drag my ass to class tomorrow. Not only that, the amount of studies I did this week is... not zero but not significant enough. Its funny how I need to study with the computer and I cannot study with the computer. The irony. I need the computer for my lecture notes and stuff, but my computer too is where I procrastinate. And here I am, biting the nail of my thumb. Thinking. Debating. To go, or not to go. Haih~

Why? Why am i having this attitude of not wanting to go to class? Back in high school, my final year, I had 100% attendance. In foundation, i did attend most of the classes. Then came first year... well that is another story for another time. Afterwards, college. Well, that went rather well. Now. THIS. WHY?! Argh!? I have this battle. This debate. Between me... and myself. Between the one who want me to strive and the one who want to drag me down. The one who see that suffer now for a better future and the other, enjoy life now, careless of the future. In psychology, Sigmund Freud will call it, better Ego and Id. Seem like my Id is the dominate one cause the Super-ego keep siding with Id. I guess everyone go through this every time.

I think its time that i should stop looking into myself to find the answer. I have been looking inwards. To see my flaws and how to improve it. Its tough and difficult as hell but taking one step at a time. *WELL, usually for my gaming purposes* And I feel that, by doing it so often, I think i am selling myself short. In games, most of my friends, they keep pointing fingers at other people's fault but not their own. Sometimes, I am tired of this attitude. Its like that Malay saying, "Bah perkata, kuman di sebelah sungai nampak, kuman di sebelah mata tidak nampak". This is LITERALLY what I feel happening in, well gaming, and maybe part of the world. I guess. Like, in gaming, since we are all behind this anonymous platform, we lost touch of our human self. We flame/troll people. And that sort of, become a norm for those who uses the internet/dwell upon it/live for it/depends on it/gamers. I am tired of this attitude. Everyone starts to be so cold.

I don't know why I am side tracking so much from the main point. Originally I wanted to end this post with some sayings. One is the price we pay. And second is fault of others are so easily seen but fault of self is none existence. Right now, I am thinking, how in the hell does feeling lazy going to class related to this? Well, I side track too much. What can I say, a tired mind wanders.

Actually, I already know the answer to my question. I am just afraid of admitting it. I am afraid of the answer. Ignorant is a bliss they say.

Good Nightz